I am quite proud today. I learned a new word! After completing the quizz (available here) to find out if was an introvert or an extrovert, the results tell me I am an ambivert. Something in between! Again I am slightly disappointed I do not fall into a clear category but this is the story of my life…
Anyway, in the article about the “upside of being an introvert” by Bryan Walsh he mentions how teachers pay more attention to the extrovert, loud, engaging kids while the introvert ones get side-lined. I remember a friend of mine who is soft spoken telling me how he figured out he needed to put on a “show” when he went for job interviews because he figured his normal self would never get him the job. Once in the job he would be himself again and nobody ever had a problem with it. Being a computer specialist did not require him to give speeches anyway! Coming back to kids, of course parents and teachers encouraging introvert kids (the article explains how introvert is different from shy btw) to engage more in social interaction is a good thing but we should be aware not to cross the line of actually training them to “act” being someone they are not which is something we should avoid if one’s life a life a truthful as possible.
Addressing the issue with a different angle Maia Szlazavitz, in her article “Humility: A quiet, underappreciated strength” . Indeed the humble person is not the one who will boast about their achievements, telling you how excellent they are, again a behavior which is encouraged in our society especially during a job interview! But unfortunately the study mentioned in the article shows that even though humility is considered in theory a good quality, in practice “When youth, women or minorities humbly admitted errors or gave credit to others, their competence was called into question. White men, in contrast, were rewarded for owning up and praising the efforts of underlings.”
So yes, being truthful and humble are yet again qualities which we love to see in our kids but then we should also find a way to reconcile ourselves with the fact that there might not be as valued as we would want them to be. That would be the parents problem as it seems the introverts and the humble people are not that much excited by rewards!